Know thy Inseam
I recently bought a pair of running shorts online. The prospect seamed simple enough. Shorts are shorts. Running shorts are typically a little shorter, but I was okay with that. I can rock ‘em above the knee. I saw the different inseams. I didn’t choose the shortest pair, or the second or the third shortest. The shorts looked cool and the length seamed generous. Like most things, “short” is subjective term.
Or not.
The Short Shorts that started it all. (Not my legs)
The supreme court would decisively and unequivocally rule these new shorts of mine to be short and possibly a menace to society… an abomination to mankind. The language would lack the eloquence of former rulings, containing lots of jarring pauses and sputtered incoherence– as if the justices simply couldn’t retain their composure even with multiple revisions.
So I had a problem. Wearing these things outside would be okay with me. There is a certain anonymity on the streets. People just say, “There goes a crazy runner guy,” if they look at all. My problem is that the bulk of my running is done on a YMCA treadmill. People know me there either by face or by name and let me tell you, it’s hard to blend in and be anonymous as a dude in short shorts. They aren’t exactly the rage there.
Fitting in
So I began to rescind all the reasoning I’d given my wife to convince her that I needed new shorts. ”The old shorts don’t smell that bad.” ”That hole is hardly noticeable.” … “Okay you’re right, the hole in the crotch IS noticeable, but they have a built in liner so it’s not like anyone will see anything.”
In the end she played a card that every wife should use sparingly: she questioned my masculinity. ”So you’re saying I’m a wimp because I’m too afraid to wear my new SHORT shorts to the Y?” Yep. I was caught in a paradox. Short shorts, I reasoned, aren’t manly, but then neither is worrying about what others think.
Warming up
On the first trip to the YMCA A.B.S.S. (after buying short shorts) I made a hard line for a treadmill. I kept my head down and didn’t look up at anyone. I ran, changed and left.
Gradually I began to say hi to friends again, even pausing for brief conversation. Apparently they didn’t think I suddenly turned into a creeper after all, or they were good enough to hide their suspicions. In fact I don’t think I’ve lost a single friend over my short shorts– a statistic I find surprising.
Striding out
It’s been many miles from then till now. I’ve had a lot of time to think about my shorts.
My Conclusions:
-they are short
-sometimes into a headwind they will pull a Marilyn Monroe on me (remember, there IS a liner and this isn’t QUITE as bad as it sounds)
-they are light with good ventilation
-after 2 years of consistent running, my legs look like toned runner legs
-not chafing is more important than being cool
-I like them
-if you don’t, I don’t care (not quite true yet, but I’m working on it)
The Long and Short of It
Expect the unexpected. This blog is unequal parts humorous running blog, support group, authentic manhood rumination, running log, advice, questioning, and challenges. I’ve always enjoyed epic challenges. Somehow they dropped out of my life for several years. Well now they’re back with a vengeance. So are short shorts. Go short or get out of the way.
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I’m an expert writer who loves to bring smiles to people’s face.
Writing is what I do for a living and I am so passionate about this. I have worked with several companies whose mission is to help people solve writing problems.
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Hi, I am Kalem a professional in academic writing.
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Welcome Everyone
Thanks for checking out my writing blog . My name is Montell Rivera.
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Hey, I am Gabriel a professional in report writing.
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I have been writing since I was 12 years old and never knew it would turn out to be a full-time career. I have also been able to manage several projects that involves writing. And I worked in three organizations as a volunteer to assist people.My interest has always been to help people succeed. And I go the extra mile to make that happen.
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I work with a service provider whose mission is to provide quality works and make people happy. In fact, many clients come to me for professional help on a daily basis because they know I always deliver. And I will continue to provide nothing but quality to build trust like I have been doing for the past few years.
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Welcome everyone ! I’m Leticia Holding.
Even though I jokingly credit my aunt for my writing talent, I know that it is a ability I have fostered from childhood. Though my mother is a writer, I also started out young.
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Leticia – Professional Writer – Jason Blois Team
Thanks for stopping by my page! I’m Johnathan.
Even though I jokingly credit my aunt for my writing talent, I know that it is a skill I have fostered from childhood. Though my mother is a writer, I also started out young.
I’ve always had a way with words, according to my favorite professor . I was always so excited in science when we had to do a research writing assignment.
Now, I help current pupils achieve the grades that have always come easily to me. It is my way of giving back to communities because I understand the obstacles they must overcome to graduate.
Johnathan – Professional Writer – RYANMOORE Corp
I’m an expert writer who loves to bring smiles to people’s face.
Writing is what I do for a living and I am so passionate about this. I have worked with several associations whose mission is to help people solve problems.
I love traveling and have visited several countries in the past few years.
I’m happy to have written several books that have contributed positively to the lives of many. My books are available in several parts of the world. And I’m currently working with service providers that help people save energy. Being a part of this team has open more opportunities for me to excel as a writer. I have worked with different people and met many clients as a professional.
I can handle any kind of writing project and provide nothing but the best. People come to me all the time to ask if I can solve their writing problems and I accept. I find pleasure in assisting them to solve their problems as a professional.
Academic Writer – Genevieve Blackwell – RMoore Team
Hello ,
I’m Anton.
If you’ve ever been too tired and couldn’t finish a research paper , then you’ve come to the right place. I work with students in all areas of the writing technique. I can also write the paper from start to finish.
My career as a scholarly writer started early in college . After learning that I was very able in the field of academic writing, I decided to take it up as a job .
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I’m an expert writer who loves to bring smiles to people’s face.
Writing is what I do for a living and I am so passionate about this. I have worked with several organizations whose goal is to help people solve problems.
I love traveling and have visited several countries in the past few years.
I’m happy to have written several books that have contributed positively to the lives of many. My works are available in several parts of the world. And I’m currently working with companies that help people save time. Being a part of this team has open more opportunities for me to excel as a writer. I have worked with different people and met many clients as a writer.
I can handle any kind of writing project and provide nothing but the best. People come to me all the time to ask if I can solve their assignment problems and I accept. I find pleasure in helping them to solve their problems as a professional.
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Hello guys, I am Ianis Bowers a professional in academic writing.
I love solving people’s problems and make them happy. That is what I have been doing for decades now.
I have been writing since I was 12 years old and never knew it would turn out to be a full-time career. I have also been able to manage several assignments that involves writing. And I worked in three organizations as a volunteer to assist people.My passion has always been to help people succeed. And I go the extra mile to make that happen.
I enjoy writing Thesis and have helped people from countries like USA.
I work with a service provider whose mission is to provide quality papers and make people happy. In fact, many clients come to me for professional help on a daily basis because they know I always deliver. And I will continue to provide nothing but quality to build trust like I have been doing for the past few years.
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