Impromptu Marathon RACE RESULTS!!

4 Jun

When last I blogged I talked about deciding to run the Cellcom Marathon in Green Bay, WI two weeks before race day. (Never mind that I’d been working on speed training rather than long miles) I felt pretty doggone confident I’d still be alright. Well, I thought I’d let y’all know how it went.

I didn’t make it.

Please continue if you haven’t lost all respect for me at this point.

It was a hot and windswept morning in Title Town. When we pulled up to Lambeau Field at 6:50am it was already 80 degrees. Still our spirits were high as we shuffled with the thousands of other runners to the starting mat. Game on.

Even More Impromptu

I had a pretty good idea of what to expect of race day as I’ve run marathon length a handful of times. So signing up two weeks in advance wasn’t all that crazy to me. Imagine though if you hadn’t run even a half marathon before and decided to run the race two DAYS beforehand.

RMSL is proud to introduce my friend Josh Fitzpatrick. It was Josh’s birthday the week before the marathon and I knew this because Facebook helps me to pretend to be a better person than I really am by announcing the day’s birthdays.

Everyone else was giving the generic “Happy Birthday!!!!!!” Someone had already set the gratuitous exclamation point bar way too high for me so instead I wrote, “Happy birthday! You should celebrate by running the Cellcom marathon. That’s 26.2 beers!” Josh and his roommates have a plan to stay in shape by running a mile for every beer they drink. Let’s just say they started way in the hole.

Weirdest Birthday Wishes Ever

I know right?? I’m not really sure what my motive was. I think the “Look at me, I run marathons” complex I have got the better of me. I like running marathons. I like that people know that I run marathons. I like when they call me crazy. I like when they call me amazing and inspiring. I like me. Can you tell?

ANYWAY, a couple of days later Josh posts to my wall. “You’ve convinced me to run a marathon, do you have a game plan?” Oh dear. It’s one thing to do something without a game plan. It’s another thing entirely to rope someone into your plan-less game. I felt defensive. I mean, I really didn’t do much convincing. I think beer and crazy was all it took for Josh. I like his style.

Porta-Potty Saunas and Other Such Pleasures

Some people go to spas to get pampered, massaged, or to lounge and unwind in a sauna. My friends and I paid 100 bucks to be treated to the opposite of a pedicure (some runners lose toenails), relax in the sweltering humidity of porta-potty saunas, and stand in an hour long line for a 15 minute post-race rub-down. It’s a steal of a deal if you ask me.

So you can imagine our shock when it was all taken away from us suddenly. We had reached mile 12 and were just about to split off from the 1/2 marathon runners that outnumbered us 5 to 1 when we were told the race was cancelled.

“Can they do that?” then, “I’m going to do it anyway,” went through my head. The police at the barricade must have read my mind because I saw a little frown as they fingered their knife-sticks. Maybe they had anticipated the decision to cancel would be unpopular.

My friends and I huddled. They said they had pulled the water stops. Were they bluffing? Did we know the way? Did we have any money to buy water? No, maybe, and no. We were jiggered. Game off.

We left the woman bawling about how hard she worked with the apologetic race volunteers and walked the remaining mile of the half-marathon course. We sprinted the last 1/10 of a mile to the finish line and collected our meaningless “Finisher” medals. I thought about throwing mine as far as I could (it was shaped like a football) and saying saying, “Thanks for nothing” to the unsuspecting volunteer who had screwed me out of my glorious victory.


Immaturity is Fun

I didn’t do that of course, but it made me chuckle inside to think about doing it. Instead we grabbed our beer and talked about all the childish ways we could respond to the frustration we felt. It was good therapy to laugh it all off. We knew they had to cancel the race; the paramedics were ALL being utilized dealing with heat related maladies. I think the sudden heat-wave took its toll on first time participants. Other first time runners like my friend Charlie were seriously rocking it out strong. I feel really badly for them. They will have their day yet.

Poor Track Record

So I D.N.F.ed it (Did Not Finish)… sorta. In fact, as of now, my completion record at organized marathons is 1-for-3, or 2-for-3, depending on how you look at it. At the Eau Claire marathon last year at this time someone was supposed to pick up my bib, but due to misunderstanding did not. Instead I ended up with my sister-in-law’s bib for the half marathon that she was unable to attend. Lyndsey did pretty well that day. In fact I think she set a PR.

So Cellcom is the second time I lined up at the start of a marathon only to have uncontrollable circumstances force me into a half instead. Add those two together and put it with my only organized marathon finish and I’m 2-for-3, at least that’s how I’m putting it in the stat-book. It’s how I sleep at night.

An Adventure Deferred

But I haven’t slept. I got amped to run my impromptu marathon. That energy had to go somewhere. I needed another adventure to drive me. The Fall 50 in Door County, WI captured my attention and imagination shortly thereafter. The register button on their website has given me the most internet pause I’ve ever had. I’m not sure where this running journey is going to take me, but adventure seems an integral component. Dream, set crazy goals, go after them. Fall down, learn, get back up and chase that which makes you come alive. I DARE you.

19 Responses to “Impromptu Marathon RACE RESULTS!!”

  1. JL Zoeckler June 4, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

    It was a pleasure to be with you for those 13 miles. Someday (soon) we will get many more miles together!

    • Jamie June 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

      JL, are you in for the fall 50?!? ;) I’m sure Brandon would love a running partner.

      • JL Zoeckler June 5, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

        It’s only a logistical question (I have dreamed of running that race in the gorgeous wisconsin autumn). There’s possibility that we will move to California at the end of the summer (we will know for sure at the end of June) and that would make it more difficult to run a race in Wisconsin.

        • Jamie June 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm #

          Oh yeah – and that’s totally true! Well hope it works out for you someday. :)

        • Brandon June 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

          I’m ashamed to admit that I hope you don’t make it to Cali. I know you want it, but I don’t and that’s what’s important right? Anyway, it’d be amazing if we could do this one together, but I know you will make the right decision for you and your family. I wish you all the best and God’s blessings wherever you end up.

  2. AJSchn May 17, 2013 at 9:31 am #

    Love the altered ribbon! I had my “fake” medal engraved with “The Half-Fast Marathon / [my name] / 13.1 miles / [my time according to the text tracking]“.

    • Brandon May 17, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

      I like your idea even better. Even as I type this reply I’m considering signing up for Cellcom again. Late again. Paying the hefty late fee again. Weather looks good and Lambeau Field is calling!

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